It was late April....

my friend Betsy and I were commiserating about our single status.  She, a very recent divorcee and myself, single for 14 years, having been thrice married.  Yes, I said thrice.

What's a single, middle-aged woman to do to meet men in this crazy city?  Having tried on-line dating years ago immediately after separating from my husband, I already had great misgivings about the prospect.  It was a disaster then, but hearing all the "come ons" and "put yourself out theres" I thought, what the heck, something's gotta give.

So, we decided to try speed dating and I was to do the research.  Surprisingly, I found very few options for speed dating in NYC, and even fewer still for speed dating in your fifties.  However, one ad seemed okay so with a little bit of mutual encouragement, my friend and I registered for an "event" last Saturday.

The mental preparation commenced immediately with a running list of things I'd need to do --  color my hair, do my nails and look through my wardrobe to be sure I had something halfway decent to wear, quickly followed by cautioning myself not to get too excited or go to a lot of trouble for this because it would probably turn out to be real disappointing. This was the sage advice I gave myself.  Did I listen? Sheesh!

On the day in question, I could have enjoyed playing tennis outdoors as it was a gorgeous, sunny day, much welcomed after the endless winter weather. It was a huge sacrifice, as I left my friends still playing tennis to head home to prepare for doomsday.

Four hours and 3 outfits later, I was feeling very Cher in Moonstruck as I headed out the door in uncomfortable shoes and my trusty, red, align dress. My friend and I agreed to meet a bit early so we could have a pre-speed dating glass of courage.

 I arrived at Nino's first, ordered my wine and used the time to think about what questions I would ask my "candidates." I jotted a few down: what are you currently reading? (Do you read?) Dogs or cats? (do you even like animals?) Where would you want to live, if not NYC? (really, I want to know)

Betsy arrived looking gorgeous. She has the kind of bone structure and hair that requires no fuss or forethought.  Not that I've seen her right after rolling out of bed, but I imagine she wakes up looking just this way.

Anyhoo, I showed Betsy my questions.  She hadn't even thought about it yet!  I suggested using some of the "36 Questions" and she quickly downloaded the app.  We downed our wine and headed over to the event site, a bar in a very tall East River tower.

There was a registration line where we were to check in and get our name tags.  Standing a few feet in front of me was an elderly messenger carrying a big plastic bag, sporting stained blue jeans 3 sizes too large and grandpa sneakers.  Then he stepped up to the desk and was handed his name tag. And he was not the worst of the lot.

Before the dating began, the troopers had time to get a drink and mingle, even with people wearing green tags, not blue like ours.  Others!  Instead, we used the time to observe, comment on the slim pickings, and wonder if the popcorn on the bar was supposed to be the "light snack" advertised on the website. Betsy thought there might be one or two guys who were possibilities.  You see?  This is the open-mindedness that I have been striving to attain myself!  This is the kind of positive influence I need in my life!

Moment of reckoning! We are instructed to sit at our assigned tables and we will have 8 minutes to spend with each date. We are advised to take note of each person's name and 3-digit number so that we can identify them later on-line and, most importantly, to very discreetly note on our sheets whether we want to meet them for a "second date," "friendship" or "business."  Hmmm...and I thought this was just about dating.

Well, I have a knack for conversing with someone and seeming like I'm interested when I'm actually  not even listening because I've completely tuned you out and am having an inner dialogue which is far more interesting. I can ask questions, answer questions and still not even be thinking about what you said.  It's a handy talent that I employed heavily over the next 2 hours.  Oh, on occasion, something did catch my interest.  There was the gentleman who lives on a farm. Being an animal lover, for a fleeting moment I thought....maybe...but then he asked if I was jewish.  Oh well.

There was the guy who I suspect was there more for the "business" prospects, who puts together group ski trips, boat cruises, trips to Atlantic City, does murder mystery theatre, scavenger hunts... wearing gold pinky rings and a green polyester suit, size 60, or thereabouts.

Betsy and I agreed that there were several guys who were absolutely, certifiably looney tunes. Couldn't even follow their conversation if you tried. The messenger was one of the crazies.

It was hard to keep track of everyone but thankfully, I had my trusty sheet upon which I noted the following:

1. Ben - insurance guy from Iran, it's all about the money
2. John - Karaoke, he reads
3. Alan - camera man for cable news
4. Arnel - real estate, looks like Pluto from Popeye
5. Avran - bagel guy (has farm)
6. Roger - ex film-maker who does PR for a podiatrist
7. Glen - pilot
8. Tom - ski trip guy
9. Bill - skip
10. Mark - just crazy

I barely got to ask any questions. Most of the men asked the same thing: what do you do? Then they proceeded to talk about themselves for the next 5 minutes or until they were told to move on to the next table. It was freaking exhausting.

When the dates were over, we had the option of sticking around for the "after party." Betsy and I scooted out and debriefed on the way home. Ms. Positivity was a bit more enthusiastic about a couple of the contestants than I was and she encouraged me to just pick a person to date.  Of course, if you choose someone to date, it has to be mutual, or you have no dates and are entitled to attend another speed-dating event free of charge.  I was not convinced but after sleeping on it, I decided she was right. I needed to "practice dating" so I chose the pilot on the speed-dating website and received a message that he had also chosen me.